Kiss & Cry, Where Passion Awaits Read online

  The females took to the ice first and started stroking. They started with single jumps and then went on to their doubles. Each skater would then focus on his or her weakest triple jumps before the warm-up was over. Time was a critical factor. The final minute of warm-up was announced and the skater who was to go first wound down to rest before her program.

  The judges sat separately around the arena and took notes as each skater performed. The women were finished skating in twenty minutes. As a former skater herself, it always amazed Dhalia how she trained all year for a lousy four minutes on the ice that could make or break her. If you were a man or skated pairs you had to perform for four and a half minutes. If your program went over or under the allotted time by ten-seconds either way, the judges would not only stop judging you but deduct some of your earned points. It was so important to be consistent; and it was so upsetting if you bombed your program.

  When the Zamboni took to the ice the men disappeared to get ready for their competition. They started stretching and practicing in the hallways while the ice was being flooded.

  The men took to the ice and warmed up. When the warm-up reached fourteen minutes, Ryan gave the last minute warning and then the skater who was supposed to go first slowed down to rest before his four and a half minute program.

  The females sat in a group to watch the men after they took off their skates. They were all chatty now and the best of friends because the pressure was off. The judges resumed note taking.

  After all the skaters performed the judges took their notes and went to the boardroom where their discussions were televised. It was in the boardroom where they made their decisions. The skaters were to wait in their individual rooms until they were called back to the boardroom and informed how they did. They were told not to change and keep on their skates.

  Deliberation was about to start when Dhalia’s phone rang from inside her purse. It was Bradley. She covered the receiver and told everyone in the room she had to take the call. She stepped out of the boardroom.

  “Hi, Dhalia, I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.” She felt anxious because everyone was waiting for her.

  “Well, as a matter-of-fact you did! We were just about to discuss who should leave the camp.”

  “Good. I want you to hold off on that for now. Stop the taping. I’m flying out tomorrow morning. I want to see the tapes and have an influence on the decisions.”

  Dhalia thought she and Ryan were doing a good enough job with the rest of the coaches and that Bradley shouldn’t feel as though he had to fly in for the final collaboration. Her cheeks were hot with disappointment.

  She went back into the boardroom and got everyone’s attention. “As you know, I was just on the phone with Bradley, president of the Association. He is flying in tomorrow morning and wants to be included in the decision making process. So, we're on hold for now. Michael, will you inform the skaters? We’ll reconvene at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow.”

  Michael smiled at her and assured, “Not a problem.” He, along with everyone else, assumed this was a mutual decision.

  Lost in Desire

  Dhalia left immediately and went back to her room. She went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water. She heard a knock at the door. She opened it. It was Ryan. “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “No, not really,” she answered honestly. She slumped on the bed and it felt like every little bit of energy was sucked away from her with just one phone call. “What really happened?”

  She looked at Ryan completely frustrated. “I don’t know. I thought Bradley was going to let us run the camp and trust us with everything, but obviously I was mistaken. He gave us what I thought was complete autonomy on the day-to-day operations, but obviously I was mistaken. Bradley has this uncanny ability to never let you forget that he is in charge.”

  She pushed a stray hair out of her face and continued, “He calls me and just says to stop everything. 'I want to come and see the tapes and help make the decisions.' He probably doesn’t think we’ll retain the best skaters.”

  A single tear flowed down her cheek. Ryan stepped towards her and ran his fingers through her hair. He started undressing her, keeping his eyes glued to hers. He pulled back the quilt on the bed for her to lie down on. He then removed his clothing very slowly as she looked on in admiration. He turned off the light before joining her under the covers. They were lying on their sides facing each other. He stroked her hair and dried her tears, and he held her close. They stayed like that for a long time.

  The room was pitch black. His hands caressed her face, and when he found her lips, his hands stopped probing. He whispered, “I need you, Dhalia.” His lips barely touched hers. He fed her slow, soft kisses, like he was kissing life back into her lifeless body. The hand that found her lips now rested on her chin as he guided her into one kiss after another.

  “Ditch Bradley for me,” Ryan pleaded. His tongue slipped into her mouth and lingered. Not one kiss was hurried. The feeling she received from Ryan was intense. She was lost in his slow seduction. She caressed the back and top of his shaved head as the kisses intensified.

  His muscles made his entire body feel hard, yet his skin was warm and soft. He pulled away from her lips and said, "I’ve tried so hard to forget the hurt you’ve caused me when you did what you did in the next room. How could you let him? I heard you choose him, beg for him.” His voice started to quiver. “I’m drawn to you, regardless of what you’ve done in the past. Everything in me says to walk away, but I can’t, and that, quite frankly, pisses me off.”

  “I think I was flattered by his attention: he was new and exciting,” she answered with candor. Her face became wet from his. She touched his cheeks and felt his tears. Hers began again. She made such a strong beautiful man cry, and for that she lost face, and she suffered great shame.

  “I’m so sorry,” Dhalia cried. His arms wrapped around her body. Her breasts pressed against his chest. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

  “I want to make love to you,” Ryan confessed. “Let's live in this moment, please.”

  “Do it,” Dhalia begged with urgency.

  He held her hands as he mounted her. He entered her and she felt something from him she had never felt from anyone before, unconditional love. It didn’t matter what she did in the past, or what happened to them. He was still able to love her ... completely, wholly, passionately, unselfishly. Their bodies worked slowly and steadily passing a threshold that made her weep with emotion. It was the most beautiful intimate experience she ever had.

  They fell asleep in each other’s arms. When Dhalia woke up Ryan was gone. She was unaware of what time it was, because her room was so dark. She started to think that maybe the second most intimate moment in her life might have all been a dream.

  The Assault

  She felt like she had been sleeping for a long time. Dhalia heard a click and light came beaming into her room. She saw Bradley’s silhouette in the doorway. He closed the door behind him and the room went black again. Relief flooded her thoughts knowing Ryan was smart enough to leave before Bradley came.

  He turned on the light and it took a minute for her eyes to adjust to it. She was in bed naked. He was dressed in a suit, his facial expression was glacial. She remembered her anger from the previous night. She got out of bed and went to the closet to grab her clothes.

  "You slept naked.” Brad stated rather than questioned.

  “I did,” she answered. “We need to talk. Let me get dressed.”

  “Don’t bother. Did you sleep with Ryan?” he asked. His question shocked her and she grew nervous.

  “Why do you ask that? I sleep naked on occasion. How would that lead you to question whether I slept with Ryan or not?” As lame as she sounded, that was all she could come up with in short and on-the-verge-of-panic notice.

  “I saw you kiss him in the hallway. Now tell me the truth," his voice rang full of anger. “Did you sleep with him
?”

  Her hesitation must have spoken volumes to him.

  “There’s a camera in this room. Don’t make me check it. Did you sleep with him?”

  “Yes,” she seethed. “I did! You’re not the only one with power. You think you can control me, but you can’t. Have cameras spy on me in my own room, allowing me no privacy? Well, wild horses wouldn’t have kept me away from Ryan last night. You asked for it when you called me in the boardroom. You sicken me!”

  “You whore!” he raged.

  He raised the palm of his hand and smashed it into the side of her face. The blow was so hard it caused her to stumble backwards. Her hand went instantly to the spot that he hit, and her fear for him heightened. “You want to act like a whore, then I’ll treat you like one. Are his juices fresh inside you? Did you cut off all your hair to entice him? After I treated you with the kindness and respect like the woman you’re not, this is how you repay me?

  “I trusted you to come here and spend a year with him, and you humiliate me with your trampy behavior. You’re no better than a bitch in heat!”

  Bradley stepped towards her, and with both hands, he shoved her onto the bed. He ordered, “Sit on the side of the bed.” She was scared and panic-stricken. She didn’t want Bradley near her. She didn’t want him hitting her anymore. Dhalia did as she was told. He took his instrument out of his pants, and then standing in front of her, he shoved it into her mouth. He grabbed the hair on the top of my head and ordered her to suck. She thought of biting for a millisecond but she knew that his anger would only worsen. She prayed it would be over swiftly. That he would somehow calm down.

  He yanked her head back and forth until he was hard. “Do you still have the taste of Ryan in your mouth?” he demanded. “How do I taste, any good?” His anger was immeasurable. He pulled out of her mouth and then went to the bathroom. If she ran from the room she knew he would go after her. She was just about to try but he stormed back in like a hurricane eager to leave destruction in its path.

  Dhalia didn’t know what to do next. Bradley hand a hand towel when he came back into the room. He got on the bed and from behind he jammed the towel into her mouth, so she was gagged. She was a mute. “If I hear one noise from your whore mouth, I’ll beat the crap out of you,” he threatened. “Put your head on the pillow.” Bradley moved over so she could do as he ordered. Dhalia put her head as directed. The knot at the back of her head made it uncomfortable to lie flat. Her hair was caught in the knot and strands were being pulled every time she changed positions.

  He thrust himself inside of her as he squeezed her wrists tightly holding her arms down. She struggled to get away and kicked her legs into his back and twisted her upper body. Bradley grew stronger and more confident the more she writhed. Her legs threw off his balance and he punched her hard, hitting her eye. The blunt pain as a result was overwhelming and she tried to free her hands to cover her face but she was unsuccessful. One hand was free for a second while Bradley pummeled her but she was unable to get him off. She screamed out but it only sounded like a soft moan.

  Her face was red with heat, sweat and tears were flowing down her cheeks until they met the towel in her mouth. She started choking. He kept violating her.

  Any concept of time escaped her as he continued taking from her everything she had. Her wish for this to be over seemed as though it was never going to happen. Her dignity and self-esteem were stolen from her with every thrust, all replaced with humiliation. His dirty seed filled her cavity and then he looked into her eyes. “You got what you deserved.”

  Calmly, Bradley got dressed and left Dhalia broken on the bed with the towel in her mouth. She was too scared to move even though her face was bleeding. How bad, she did not know. It was hard to see out her left eye. She recalled him saying as he was tightening his belt, “You can go to him now. I’m done with you. If you press charges you’ll ruin all three of our lives, so I advise against it. You consented to this the minute you kissed Ryan knowing cameras were in the room, taping you, for all to see. You lied to me.”

  Dhalia removed the gag from her mouth and remained in the darkness crying until there were no more tears. She had no energy to get up. She felt no hunger. Her only desire was to die. Her body betrayed her, she had to go to the bathroom. It burned when she voided and she stepped into the shower and let the spray of water hit her body. She took the bar of soap and rubbed her skin raw. Her legs, arms, and flank were bleeding from the soap and her nails scrubbing. She was tearing at her skin like there was an invisible film that she had to remove, so she could undo what happened. She wasn’t thinking straight. Full of self-loathing and blame, it was at that moment she lost all sense of self-worth. It was the worst feeling in the world.

  Her left eye was swollen shut and her jaw was throbbing with pain. She walked over to the sink and tried to brush Bradley’s filth out of her mouth. She couldn't eliminate it. The dirt was suffocating her. She returned to bed with blood stained sheets and curled into the fetal position. She kept waking up and then falling back to sleep again, until she heard a frantic knock at her door. “Dhalia? Are you in there? Dhalia!” It was Michael. She had no energy or inclination to answer.

  The door to her room burst open and Michael gasped. “Who did this to you?” He came to collect her from the bed but she scurried away from him and squealed with terror. She cowered in the corner of the room. He pulled his cell phone from his front pocket and she witnessed him calling 911. She couldn’t form words. She was terrified. Michael stood at the opposite end of the room reassuring her, until the ambulance came, everything was going to be okay.

  There was a second knock at the door and the ambulance attendants entered the room. They advanced towards her as though they were entrapping a wild animal. She lashed out in self-defense. They stepped back, regrouped and mumbled amongst themselves. Then all three came at her at once. They pinned her to the floor and she felt a needle pierce her arm. She drifted away.

  The Hospital

  Dhalia opened her eyes to find herself in a hospital room unlike any she ever seen before. It was nicer, calmer looking and less sterile. A nurse with a name tag that read Betty was standing close to her. Betty noticed Dhalia’s eyes open and smiled at her. She looked at Dhalia and explained, “The paramedics had to sedate you. Do you know where you are?”

  Her blond curly hair and blue eyes caught Dhalia’s attention, and she forgot what Betty said, “Pardon me?”

  “Do you know where you are?” Betty repeated.

  “In the hospital?” Dhalia guessed.

  “You’re in a section of one that’s involved with sexual crimes."

  Her eyes closed given they felt so heavy. “We need to examine you. We'd like to have your consent,” Betty explained before Dhalia nodded and felt another needle in her arm. “I think this exam needs to be done with sedation,” she conspired with her coworker. “The ambulance attendants who tried to take care of her had to sedate her just to get near her.”

  While under sedation, the nurses placed her legs in stirrups and did a physical examination trying to obtain evidence that could be used in a court of law. She was then tested for sexually transmitted diseases including HIV. A pregnancy test was also performed. She later found out that it’s not smart to shower before the physical examination because evidence can be destroyed, but there was definitely evidence found on her. She was then left on a bed with a female registered nurse at her side. She was in a special part of the hospital not many people knew about.

  “We took samples and performed the necessary tests while you were under.” The nurse looked at her with concern in her eyes. She didn’t try touching Dhalia in any way. “Can you tell me what happened?” she inquired.

  Dhalia answered the nurse in her mind but nothing came from her lips. She was numb. The nurse looked at her again and tried a different approach. “Today is Friday. Do you know when this happened to you?”

  Dhalia's brow creased as she tried figuring out what day it happened, but her m
ind came up blank. She couldn’t talk about it even if she wanted to. The nurse then reassured her, “During a traumatic event the body doesn’t act the way it would usually, under normal circumstances. The likelihood of you being pregnant is slim to none. We have taken a pregnancy test, but your blood results aren’t in yet.

  "It’s advisable that if it’s been within forty-eight hours of the assault, that you take the morning after pill. Are you willing to take it, to prevent pregnancy by your attacker?”

  “No,” she managed to reply. “I can’t take it. I was with Ryan too.” Dhalia started crying.

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “Will I have to tell anyone else?” Her swollen face made it hard to talk, and if she had to tell someone else what happened, she didn’t want to have to keep repeating herself. The entire incident was completely humiliating to her.

  “I won't lie. You'll have to repeat it to the police,” Betty replied.

  “Then I’d rather tell all of you at the same time so I don’t have to say it twice.”

  “I’ll call them in now.”

  “Do they come even if I’m not going to press charges?”

  “Yes,” Betty responded. “They come whenever someone is brought in to us.”

  “So, I don’t have to press charges?” Dhalia confirmed.

  “No. You don’t,” Betty answered. “It’s up to the police to decide if they can make a case or not.”

  Dhalia closed her eyes and rested until the police came.

  They knocked on the door and Betty let them in. Two police officers in full uniform introduced themselves. Dhalia didn’t retain either of their names. They looked about the same age as she was. One officer pulled a pad out of her pocket and began to write.

  “Kindly state your name and age.”